The kids dress up at Hallowe'en,
They shout and laugh, they run and scream,
Their hair is black, their faces green,
The kids, dressed up at Hallowe'en.

I hear them screeching down the street,
The age-old call of "Trick-or-treat!"
They're after candies, small and sweet,
As they come screeching down the street.

I hear them knocking on my door,
I'm hiding, laid flat on the floor,
My lights are out as I ignore
The trick-or-treaters at my door.

It isn't that I'm cheap and mean,
In the generous time of Hallowe'en,
It's just I'm scared of being seen
By scary ghosties at Hallowe'en.

They say it's all just kids dressed up,
But I've had a real good look close up,
Under the costumes and all that make-up,
Are monsters, I'm not making this up!

I'm scared that if I loosen the chains
Open the door to the candy campaigns,
They'll bite my neck - and suck my veins!
Cut open my head and eat my brains!